When you try, do you really try?

Now I know we all have come into contact with competition in life. Whether it be for academics, arts, sports, or simply knowledge on a particular subject. But have you ever had to really try to achieve something? I mean REALLY try. I have noticed something about myself recently, a comment I received once, "Wow Courtney, you really are a jack of all trades". Now I did appreciate that comment, at first. I have many skills in a wide variety of areas, however the entire quote that person was referencing is "a jack of all trades, a master of none.".... that last part rang in my head for quite some time, master. What was I the BEST at?

Thinking back, there were many times when effort and skills got me to a certain point, but the last stretch left me afraid of failure. So here I am now, in college, majoring in Sociology, minoring in Italian, and still working towards a career involved with writing and maybe music. I have no idea what my future holds for me, and in my dreams it appears as a swirling vortex of pressures and opinions and expectations ...and yet, at the end of the tunnel is still, me... all of my hopes and wishes.

So here I stand now, scared to death to fall down that hole. Yet, don't you think if you got a sprinting start you will end up going farther and maybe even making it across? I do, and ladies and gentlemen... that is the plan.

Now we all know I love using fun references... this time it is a movie. Go and watch Meet the Robinsons , it is animated and absolutely awesome. The catch phrase for this film... "KEEP MOVING FORWARD." There is a part of the movie where the protagonist fails at something, and the family cheers... because he TRIED. After all, as the cliche` phrase goes, if at first you don't succeed... try, try again. At the end of the day, failures is what makes things better than the first idea that was created. So let's all go out there and try.

So now, for all of YOU....

CHALLENGE: Want something? Do it... This post I want you to focus on something that scares you. It may be as simple as trying a little harder at something because of the fear to mess it up. Whatever you decide... just TRY. Whether with a personal relationship, with a drawing, sports, a career aspect... whatever you want.

This week I have ALREADY done the challenge so I will share what mine was. I am a writer... obviously... but I have always been afraid to read it out loud. To show it to people and let them share opinions because I fear I am not good enough. I come from a life of high expectations and at times too much pressure, which causes a perfectionist attitude at times. So I stopped writing all together not too long ago, but the other day it was sunny and I was inspired. I walked along and stopped in front of a group of protesters, against war. I sat on a bench nearby and wrote, and when I was finished, I called home and read it aloud. Not going to lie, it felt good. :)

So now it is your turn... even if it SUCKS just try it... you will feel better, I promise :)
OH... and let me know how it goes!

Take a breath, hold it in.

" I want adventure in the great wide somewhere, I want it more than I can tell. and for once it might be grand, to have someone understand. I want so much more than they've got planned"--Belle, Beauty & The Beast.

^This quote embodies my current thought process. Life is full of so much; full of opportunities, full of mistakes, full of energy. When asked what you want out of life, most people would say some version of success, whether it is money, love, comfort. However I don't see people living just to live, to be full of life.

Everywhere I go I see beauty of life and the people in this world. Yes I become a cynic at times because this world is full of evil deceit and people just looking to get ahead, but there is good somewhere right?

Did you ever breathe in and just feel the energy around you? Pardon me for mixing Disney movies at the moment, but I am on a kick. Take Belle's sense of adventure, with Pocahontas's love for nature and life and create an attitude to have everyday. Now as a Sociology major and just finishing my gender midterm, let me appeal to the men as well because I know this seems "girly". You can have adventure too, not for "bringing home the bacon" either. Forget realistic, forget how the world tells you to hold yourself down... anything is possible.

Of course Belle's quote deals with the adventure of love, someone to understand her, but it is Disney what do you expect... independence? Ha.

Adventure of love would be wonderful, but that is harder to come by. Now adventure of life, that is something that can be found every day, in each breath we take. Now... for the main point here..

CHALLENGE: Go on an adventure. I am not saying to some unknown land or anything extreme. My friends and I go on adventures daily. Preferably a beautiful nature setting. Walk around a wooded path or a park and watch the way the sun glistens off of the leaves. Last week my friend and I went to a field, played music, and danced around. Anything will do.
ONE CONDITION-- this is where it gets tricky but I know you all can do it! Make sure you are truly and blissfully happy for one moment on this adventure, whether it's the music you are playing or just the way the river moves downstream... let yourself fill up with happiness to where you cannot hold back a smile. Think it is impossible to be that fulfilled with no material items? Think again, I do it daily =). Let LIFE fill you, let the energy of true happiness take over... and do something more.

Time to open up, open up wide.

Lately I have realized certain debates are completely futile. When debating with people who already are completely arrogant and continue to fuel their insecurities with the "I am older, wiser, better" phrase that is surely ringing in their head 24/7, the many conversations seem to have no end until the arrogance builds up to anger and they leave the conversation hot headed.

However, insecurity is the root of the problem. We all have them, insecure about our looks, intelligence, experience. Always asking questions like, " am I creative enough to do this?" "Am I not good enough because I didn't go to college?"

Insecurity, the word almost makes you automatically search for your own flaws. Sometimes they can make you shut down, fight back against it. You are insecure about how your life turned out, you feel inadequate so you always have to be right to people you see "below" you. Bullies when you are little are just projecting insecurities, that's what you always hear right? "Oh sweetie they are just insecure and need to pick on people to make themselves feel better".

We all have them, some people can deal with them in healthy ways, others can't. When people project their insecurities onto others, as frustrating as it is, I can't help but to pity them. They cannot help themselves, and are so insecure that they treat people poorly or act out to where they look almost idiotic. Challenge time =)


CHALLENGE: You can do one of two things this time. Take on your insecurity, feel bad about your look? Do something healthy for yourself, go for a run, get a facial, dance around your house (one of my personal favorites). If it's something more personal, research something, try to learn something new, you can just stand in the mirror and list all of your positives. I find when I get upset about myself, I list all of my good things and you realize "Hey, I guess I am pretty awesome." and YOU ARE AWESOME. we all have good points.

CHALLENGE NUMBER TWO: If you don't feel quite ready to take on your insecurity, or are still in a denial phase of not having any, be open-minded. The next time you lash out, or someone lashes out at you, try to think of why you, or that person, are really doing it. Let your mind stay open wide and allow new perspectives and ideas to come into your mind, see people for why they act certain ways rather than assuming "oh they are just ignorant".

YOU CAN DO IT! DON'T FORGET ALL OF THE WONDERFUL THINGS ABOUT YOU!


Peace. Love. Respect. <3

F.I.N.A.L.S- eff I never actually learned this stuff.

So it is that time, finals. oh the joy of being a college student. One last crazy weekend followed by 24 hour quiet hours, sleepless nights, and junk food filled with caffeine and sugar to keep you focused on studying. Oh, and if you are bad at tests, you are d-o-n-e.

I have the joy of taking three lovely finals at the end of this semester:

1. Archaeology of Ancient Greece & Rome ( the class you thought would be interesting but actually makes you think of tossing yourself in front of a bus).

2. Introduction to Sociology (the class that is fun to be in and not too hard, but still covers a lot of information).

3. Italian II ( the class that decided not to have a midterm so you are forced to remember months of new conjugations and structure and when to use them in one test).


This is my weekend. Full of note cards, highlighters, headaches, & confusion. Where one final I have no idea what to study because the teacher makes no sense and everyone gets C's. Two where I am focusing on keeping my A's, and one class that did not require a final (Dance). I do not accept anything lower than a B, and even B's tend to get on my nerves. So these can make or break me. Which brings me to the challenge you all, I am sureeee, are wondering about.

Challenge: RELAX. Take twenty minutes, a few hours, a whole day, and relax. Calm yourself in every way possible. Go somewhere calming. Shut off the lights, light a candle or spray a soothing scent, take a bath. BREATHE. Stress can rule over people constantly and cause way more problems then the problem you are stressing about in the first place; trust me, I know.

so take some time, cleansing deep breaths, and refresh yourself!

Fun Fact.

Hello again. Something I noticed is I have a bit of, well a catch phrase I guess you could say. I love using the phrase "fun fact"=) Why do I like this you ask? Well it is learning, learning can be fun. Now I do not mean I love sitting through boring lectures and all that, but when I am interested about something I like to learn. It can be very intriguing. So since you are reading, I will reward YOU with some fun facts of my own. =)

Fun facts:
-I go to Drew University which is one of the top 5 most haunted campuses in the states. I believe we are number three.
-Part of the underground railroad is directly under this campus, my friend saw part of the tunnel!
- You know the big fuss about Britney's new single? If you seek Amy? Well the dirty innuendo is originally done by a band called April Wine, an 80's band and there song titled " If you see Kay"

Now don't you feel smarter? haha Thought so. The point is, that in college I see a lot of people just getting by so they can get out and make money. People use to go to college to learn, to gain experiences and knowledge, but economic values washed those old ones away. In a day in the life of a freshman college student I see more students worried about what makes them money, and taking classes just to get it out of the way, rather than having love for something and wanting to know all about it. People ask me what I want to do, I want to do something I love. Sure, I would like to make a comfortable living, but I don't need anything in excess. Challenge time!

Challenge: Learn a fun fact. Learn A BUNCH of them! Take an interest in something, find out the answer to some bizarre question that you have always secretly wondered about. You can leave any fun facts you find in comments along with your reactions too if you would like! I love learning more, and as people who are blessed to live in such a strange and maginificent place like this planet, with all its culture and mystery, we should all want to learn something. So go off and explore!!


Peace. Love. Respect. <3